I adopted Darcy on Thursday, and I adore her, she’s Chihuahua and something else. She’s silver, a bit like a gremlin and 2 years old.
Did I mention that I am in love with her?
Darcie is amazing at home, she’s the most loving little love a bit yappy but only after she came face to face with a dog who is likely to be the biggest animal she has ever seen in her life.
When people arrive here, she has a few yaps then offers them all the love of her tiny, huge heart.
She loves children, even little, tiny ones.
She’s also incredibly scared of big dogs and highly reactive towards them.
I already know that people are looking at us and deciding that she’s a yappy (maybe even aggressive, maybe even spoiled) little dog when we can’t get away and she has a meltdown.
I had forgotten how people just allow their dogs to approach and stare at a scared overwhelmed dog.
Today my own awareness said, ‘oh yes I remember that’.
We have only met a handful of bigger dogs so far and I’m going full on CC/DS as soon as she's ready, it’s the only way.
Because she’s not aggressive.
She’s not naughty.
Although she is certainly going to be spoiled - I'll own that!
She’s not even choosing the behaviour.
She’s scared and doesn’t feel safe.
Her nervous system is going into sympathetic response (fight or flight) because she’s seen what she considers to be a huge and incredibly dangerous dog. And she is very tiny.
If I was to try and train her when that was happening it wouldn’t work.
What she needs is safety, she needs to be picked up and held for now.
She needs to know that I have got her.
She needs to be able to do whatever it is she needs to do in order to help herself feel safe. Then when she feels safer, she will be much more receptive to learning.
But not from sympathetic, not yet.
If I were to try and stop the behaviour at this point, I would risk suppression, the behaviour is telling me how she feels. So while I would never ever put her in a scary situation on purpose, she gets to show that she’s scared.
She gets to be held and realise she’s safe.
Because she’s not doing it on purpose, she’s struggling.
And when our dogs are struggling that’s the point we step up and give them more safety.
That’s when we say, ‘what do you need and how can I help you’. Because it's the consistent and persistent bond and attachment they share with us which will teach them how safe they are, even when the scary things happen.
Oh and it seems that this is how I work at the moment...
We don't need to worry about what others think. We don't need to feel embarrassed, of course we don't. What we need to prioritise when our dogs don't feel safe, is safety for them.
Because if we don't help them to feel safe, who will?
Attachment styles and related wounds significantly influence the dog's perceptions, particularly for dogs with adverse early experiences that shape their ability to form secure bonds.
By understanding these attachment styles, we can create environments that create security and well-being, helping our dogs heal from past wounds. In this live webinar, we will explore the connection between canine attachment styles and behaviour, with a focus on helping dogs feel safe and secure.
Love Darcie!
I thought you weren't supposed to reward (pick them up) when they were melting down. Thanks for that info - I'll make sure I pick my little one up in future!
Her coat makes me think Yorkshire Terrier, but she's gorgeous! She's a little dog who is having big feelings about certain things! With you she'll be an absolute rockstar x
Shes gorgeous and a very lucky pup to have found you.