What Do You Expect?!
“Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations”
- Leo Buscaglia
An important lesson to learn in life is that we are all different. If you expect people to hold the same values, manners and thoughtfulness as you do then you will probably be heartily disappointed. An excellent example of this is behaviour in crowds. Some people are continually thoughtful of others, their behaviour shows respect for the personal space of people around them. Other people appear rude, pushing and completely disregarding of anyone they share the space with.
If you were raised to be thoughtful and kind towards everyone you meet, people that were not raised that way could easily drive you crazy. You may find general respect of vast importance in your life on earth yet without accepting that other people don’t, you could always be frustrated and angry by the behaviour of people you encounter. Yes, it would be wonderful if everyone was thoughtful and empathetic, but many people haven’t learned to be and unless we accept that and make peace with it, it can easily drive us crazy. To expect everyone to hold the same values as ourselves, sets them and us up to fail.
Try relaxing into life and having no expectations of anyone; you will have a very different experience in the world.
Here's An Inescapable Fact - Not Everyone Will like You!
A feeling left over from the evolution of safety in numbers is the idea that everyone must like you. It’s not going to happen, and you might as well accept it. Being liked by everyone is pretty much impossible. You can be the nicest, most agreeable person and put yourself out over and over again for one particularly difficult individual and they will still forge a dislike for you because of something going on in their own head.
It can be easy to blame yourself and ask yourself over and over again what you could have done differently, what you have done to deserve their behaviour towards you; you might even take responsibility for their actions – particularly if you suffer with low self-esteem. If their dislike of you goes beyond any ability to communicate and heal the rift, it can be easy to get angry, drowning in the unfairness of their behaviour and why they should not be allowed to get away with it. Neither of these responses will help or empower you.
The only thing that will empower you is the knowledge that it’s not their behaviour that makes you feel bad, but how you think about their behaviour. When we confirm that our feelings are directly related to how we think, we are empowered, because we don’t have to listen to our thoughts and certainly don’t have to let them change how we feel.
Taking responsibility for how we feel is the biggest power that we have in this life on earth. The knowledge brings peace of mind, alleviates needless suffering and makes us far less susceptible to the damaging addiction that we call blame.
Excerpt From: Sally Gutteridge. “Dog Professional’s Survival Guide.”