• Sally Gutteridge

The Sinister Nature of Separation

Separation is prevalent in our world. We are raised to believe it as truth. It’s the reason for racism, hate, cruelty, exploitation and I would go so far as to say most bad in the world. Separation makes us feel alone, it makes us believe in disconnect and it takes us out of an empathy mindset and into the innate need to save ourselves.

Most people are heartfelt though and many of us don’t want separation in our lives, so we create families, we gather friends and we start to fill our homes with our tribe of people and animals, because deep down we know, we want to feel less separate.

Realising that we are all connected is the start of living a completely different life for us. It’s easier to have hate towards others through separation. We are much more likely to condemn someone we consider worse than us, in act and nature. But what if we were condemning our mother, child or best friend? We would likely put a little more effort into understanding their actions wouldn’t we. That’s because we are less separate to them – we are closer.

Here’s where it gets really interesting:

When we focus on what we consider to be the worst features in others, we cause ourselves to have emotional responses in our own bodies.

It’s true, by judging, hating and condemning people we are putting hostility based emotions into our own bodies. Here’s a fact, hostility is linked to heart disease. So, if we sit watching the news and hating a politician thousands of miles away, over and over, despite never meeting them – we could literally be giving ourselves heart disease.

Our bodies get addicted to those emotions too. The human body loves an influx of strong emotion. It’s a bit of excitement to start with then it becomes a habit that the body can’t cope without. If we make a conscious decision to hate someone, the body becomes addicted and pushes the mind to create that emotion chemical much more often. We literally become difficult people, flooded with difficult emotional responses and because we are not so pleasant to be around – that fuels our separation. I can guarantee to you that if you hate one person it will spread and it’s a terrible emotional investment.

We are separate within ourselves because we are mind driven and separate from love, which leaves us at a personal level of wellness trauma. That separation is then fuelled by the society we live in, which tells us not to trust each other and in a repeat of the lesson we are taught in school “stranger danger”. Politicians, newsreaders and the media all fuel the idea that we need to be separate and riddled with mistrust. It’s normal to believe we are separate in today’s society, we couldn’t blame, hate or fear each other if we were not. So, we perpetuate the circle of sadness, and don’t understand why we all feel so uneasy within it. Lack of ease leads to fear, then to defensive fear and shows in our behaviour towards each other. We get into cars and don’t trust other drivers, so driving fills us with negative emotion. We argue online and get so wound up that the feeling sticks around for hours and sometimes even days. We do all these things because our mind is running wild and our heart has been disconnected, leaving us in a cycle of defensiveness, suspicion and separated from our best selves – who we were born to be. If we never learn to quieten our minds and reconnect it to our hearts, we will live in this state forever – and even think that it’s normal. However, there is excellent news, we can change this.

Opening our minds and most importantly our hearts is not only necessary but it will change our lives for the better. It takes no big life changing program or course, no expense or even much time, it just takes an intention and practice. Yet if our heart is open and connected with our mind every day will be like the best day. We will be free of the need to criticise, complain and look for faults in others. We will have empathy and understanding for all life and will leave behind separation and perhaps most importantly - because they literally feel our presence and mood  whatever it might be -  our dogs will breathe a sigh of relief.

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©2020 by Sally Gutteridge.